Rivers of piss

My local area is populated by me. Really. This is what UpMyStreet.com has to say about my postcode:

“Often, many of the people who live in this sort of postcode will be young, living in converted flats, in multi-ethnic areas.

“These young multi-ethnic communities are primarily found in London, with many living in houses which have been converted into flats.

“Most people are in their twenties and thirties and there are only a few, very young children. The population is diverse. On the whole they are well qualified. Many are in professional and managerial jobs, with good incomes. Others have lower level qualifications and are likely to be office and clerical staff.

“Public transport is by far the most popular method of travelling to work or study. Residents are also happy to walk, and only a minority see the need for a car. At this stage in their lives this type are not really thinking about investing their money. They will spend their spare money on travel, and will take long haul trips as well as European holidays.

“They like exercise and sport, as well as more contemplative pursuits such as the theatre, the arts and self-improvement classes. They are also very interested in current affairs and read The Guardian and Independent as they commute to work.”

I’m also a Taurean and my favourite colour is blue. I do however have to cut eye holes in my copy of The Guardian as I walk to work.

One person who didn’t get the memo is the dude I walked past at about 4pm on Saturday, who was stood on the pavement outside a nearby block of flats, idly shooting the breeze with a mate, flies undone, pissing into the street. He looked like a Telegraph reader to me.