Jack Daniels: “We work hard, we play hard”

Lynchburg: just by the name you can have a guess at the pastime of choice in times gone by. Life may trundle on at a slow pace, but thankfully even here things have changed.

“Everybody knows everybody here,” a generic meat-headed flannel shirt-clad hick drawls in the new Jack Daniels’ advert. Look – spot the ethnic minority. And it’s not just the non-white residents of the Tennessee town that these days get greeted with a great big bear hug – everyone’s invited. As long as they are male, mind.

Of the 361-strong population, can you spot one woman? Nope. Because Lynchburg is clearly one big hairy-bottomed gay commune. Bless. Just ask the village bicycle, “Big Goose”.

“Randy Baxter – everybody around here knows him as ‘Goose’.”

They sure do. And not just because of his waddle.

And what about Sammy?

“My Grandpa told me: ‘Sammy, I don’t want you off the ground any higher than your horse’s back and I don’t want you in water deeper than a bathtub.’”

Er.

All that’s missing is the afterhours disco. There's one for the Jack Daniels distillery suggestion box.