I’ve granted myself until the end of the world to write this post. Unfortunately, that doesn’t give me as much time as I would’ve hoped.
Had my diary stretched three-and-a-half years into the future, there’d be a big red pen mark around Friday, 21st December, 2012. The remaining 10 blank pages I could use to make a chatterbox - that would be nice. Only it wouldn’t be nice because I’d be dead and you can’t enjoy a chatterbox when you’re dead.
The aforementioned date is, of course, when the Mayan calendar stops. Big deal – my calendar ends on 31st December THIS YEAR (and seems to be stuck on May). But then Mayans weren't a bunch of lazy halfwits with scratch-and-sniff trousers with a 12-month VW Campervan jobbie like me. Or the flesh-hungry primitives awaiting the salvation of Catholicism of Mel Gibson’s (god-awful, if you'll excuse the blasphemy, Mel) Apocalypto. They actually built pretty cool pyramids and shit, don’t y’know.
What happens when Mayan time runs out is unknown, but the doom mongers (as apposed to the fishmongers, who’s remit is mainly fish) are getting excited. That’s great, it started with an earthquake, bikes and snakes and airplanes, Lenny Bruce is not afraid; honeybees, eagles and otters are all fucked; swine flu; knitted soft toys; reality TV; zombies; Vogon Constructor Fleets; cats and dogs living together. CGI is going to kill us all. Or maybe nuffin.
Wikipedia's take on it is more definite:
But while I’m here picking bits of toothpaste out of my t-shirt, there are thankfully those amongst us who are more proactive. Joining apocalypse-battling John Cusack are the likes of portly whistleblower-cum-21st century David Ike (and possibly Jesus) David Shayler, who will not stop "until the truth has conquered the New World Order." Unless there’s a Gregs the baker on the way.
How about other self-appointed saviour Rob Bast, then? He offers some practical advise on his website:
Had my diary stretched three-and-a-half years into the future, there’d be a big red pen mark around Friday, 21st December, 2012. The remaining 10 blank pages I could use to make a chatterbox - that would be nice. Only it wouldn’t be nice because I’d be dead and you can’t enjoy a chatterbox when you’re dead.
The aforementioned date is, of course, when the Mayan calendar stops. Big deal – my calendar ends on 31st December THIS YEAR (and seems to be stuck on May). But then Mayans weren't a bunch of lazy halfwits with scratch-and-sniff trousers with a 12-month VW Campervan jobbie like me. Or the flesh-hungry primitives awaiting the salvation of Catholicism of Mel Gibson’s (god-awful, if you'll excuse the blasphemy, Mel) Apocalypto. They actually built pretty cool pyramids and shit, don’t y’know.
What happens when Mayan time runs out is unknown, but the doom mongers (as apposed to the fishmongers, who’s remit is mainly fish) are getting excited. That’s great, it started with an earthquake, bikes and snakes and airplanes, Lenny Bruce is not afraid; honeybees, eagles and otters are all fucked; swine flu; knitted soft toys; reality TV; zombies; Vogon Constructor Fleets; cats and dogs living together. CGI is going to kill us all. Or maybe nuffin.
Wikipedia's take on it is more definite:
The world burns in flames.
But while I’m here picking bits of toothpaste out of my t-shirt, there are thankfully those amongst us who are more proactive. Joining apocalypse-battling John Cusack are the likes of portly whistleblower-cum-21st century David Ike (and possibly Jesus) David Shayler, who will not stop "until the truth has conquered the New World Order." Unless there’s a Gregs the baker on the way.
How about other self-appointed saviour Rob Bast, then? He offers some practical advise on his website:
Most home owners have fire insurance, even though they do not expect their house to ever burn. They have it because losing their home and contents would be devastating, and insurance is quite cheap.Good work, Rob. The rest of you need to get your finger out. That’s all I’m saying.
The human species does not have an insurance policy that covers a global cataclysm in 2012. Until governments, organisations or high-worth individuals make an effort, my intention is to do the best I can, because at least 1 person out of 6 billion people should make an effort.
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